Whether we like it or not, we often meet with deception. They always try to fool us in everything. We shouldn’t go too far: let’s take advertising as an example. How beautifully and interestingly described are the miraculous effects of a product! Dear girls, did you often feel the effect of a miracle shampoo or creams? Probably not.
In everyday life, in communication with other people, we too often meet with this unpleasant moment. Sometimes, when you know for sure that a person is lying, hatred and disgust awaken, but sometimes you want to bring the deceiver to the clean water. This article is about how to understand that a person is lying. Psychology is the very science that will help us to understand this. Psychology of communication Our communication consists of several elements that can be divided into two large categories: verbal communication; non-verbal communication. Verbal communication plays a small role in conversation; it is the very words we say. Non-verbal communication accounts for the lion’s share of communication. It includes:
- facial expressions;
- movements;
- gestures;
- gait;
- posture;
- loudness of speech;
- timbre, etc.
As has become clear, non-verbal communication is communication through body language. It is thanks to it that we can answer the following question: “How can we understand that a person is lying?
What gives us away?
If a person tells the truth, then he does it without hesitation, his voice sounds even and confident, he does not avoid direct contact with his eyes with his interlocutor. And when he tries to hide or listen to something, it is the opposite. It is difficult for him to look into his eyes, his voice trembles, his intonation and loudness change, trying to think of something on the move, he stutters and gets confused. Trying to behave naturally, a man makes many different gestures, which are completely insignificant to him. Very often a liar is given out during a dialogue between mime and posture.
We easily uncover the lies of our loved ones, because we communicate with them every day, we know how they talk openly and heartily, but if we see a person for the first time in our lives, we have difficulty recognizing lies. How do we know if a person is lying if we only know him for a few minutes?
Is it lying or is it embarrassing?
When we meet a new person, we often find that the dialogue is not quite smooth. There are shy and shy people for whom a new acquaintance is a real test of strength. Many people may take reticence for lying. Everyone knows that the posture in which a person talks says a lot about who is before us. So the postures of a liar, a person hiding something and just a shy person, who tells you the pure truth, are very similar. You should not judge a person by the first minutes of communication. It takes time to understand and sort it out. How do you understand that a person is lying? If gestures and pose do not give us a liar in the first minutes, the mime and eyes can reveal all his secrets.
Mimic
Changes in our face, emotions can tell the person we are talking to about whether we are true or not. How can you tell from a facial expression that a person is lying? Mimic movements on the face that tell us a lie can be counted on the fingers. Let’s look at the most significant of them. Asymmetry. No matter how hard we try, we can’t play any sense. If a person is sincere, if he really experiences any emotions, then he can not hide them. Another thing is a cheater, he does not worry, but tries to portray, so the musculature of his face starts to give it away, there is an asynchrony. A smile will look more like a smile, etc. Longevity. The duration of any emotion on a person’s face tells us a lot. Real feelings are short-lived except for such extremes as deep depression, anger, etc. If you see the same emotion on the person’s face for more than ten seconds, be sure that the person is lying. How do you understand that a person is lying because of the asynchrony of emotions, words and movements? If a person first speaks and then shows an emotion, it indicates that he is lying. We do this on a subconscious level simultaneously. Stupid smile. This phenomenon is familiar to many people. Often there is a smile on a person’s face if tension increases during the dialogue. For example, when reporting sad, bad news, a person may smile, it does not indicate that his words are not true, it indicates that the person is very much worried. So are liars. As it is known, if a person lies, then the tension increases to take it off, he puts on this mask. It is also possible that a person smiles when he wants to express respect for his interlocutor, such a smile is different from a sincere one. Contact with the eyes. When we have nothing to hide, we do not avoid direct eye contact, but the cheater can not talk like this with his interlocutor. Let’s take a little closer look at this issue further.
How do we know that a person is lying by the eyes?
As you know, eyes are the mirror of the soul. No matter how we try to hide something, they will always tell the truth. So, how do you understand that a person is lying if you only look into their eyes?
As mentioned above, a man who does not hide anything will not hide his eyes. Most of the dialogue takes place with direct contact between the eyes of the interlocutors. If, when talking to you, a person takes a look at the ceiling, floor, sideways or looks as if over your shoulder, it suggests that he is lying. If you want to check this, just ask the question that concerns what he is hiding. The liar will take his eyes away to come up with a more plausible answer. How do you know by gestures that a man is lying? Body language tells us a lot. A very illustrative example is negotiating. If the interlocutor rubs his forehead, he makes a decision. If he taps his fingers on the table, he gets nervous. If he rubs his glasses, it tells us it’s better to wait a bit. If he stretches out his open palms to you or leans back on the back of the chair, it means that he fully supports you in your decision. There are a lot of such talking gestures, they all mean something, we make these movements involuntarily on a subconscious level. There are several common gestures of lying: rubbing your nose, chin, going over your clothes, collar, rubbing your knees if you are sitting. Pay attention to how your conversation partner behaves. If the gestures he demonstrates are not characteristic of him, it indicates that he is cheating on you. Voice Pay attention to the pauses that your companion is taking. Very frequent and long pauses indicate that the person does not know the right answer to the question asked. During the pauses he buys time in order to come up with an answer that will fully satisfy you. He weighs all the pros and cons. When a person tells the truth, the information that he really knows, there will be no pauses and no hesitation in his voice. We always and everywhere face a lie, it is very important to learn to recognize it and bring cheaters to the clean water.