Of course, no one could respond to all-every child’s requests, it’s just not possible. But there are times when you shouldn’t say no!
When your child wants to talk to you and read 8th grade science workbook
Even if you think he wants to ask you something not important at all, or to discuss what happened in the new episode of your favorite cartoon, do not brush off the request. It is very important for children to be sure that the parent is always ready to listen to them, to respond, to answer the question – or at least to say that right now he can’t do it, but he will in the very near future. The older the child, the more important it really is to set aside all urgent matters for a few minutes and stop to listen to them. It’s a matter of trust: when children understand that you are responsive to requests to talk, it will be easier for them to reach out when they need support or help.
When your child calls you to play with him or her or 5th grade math multiple choice questions
Not all parents love and know how to play with children, and many just dream of a time when the child has learned to play independently. But at the daily request “Play with me!” do not react with a sharp refusal (even if you just got home from work): Children grow up so fast, soon the day will come when they will no longer ask to do it, and in general you will have less and less to do together. Playing things with your kids that they enjoy is good for your communication and relationships, so try to come up with your own play plots, rituals, little skits, etc.
When he says, “Help me, please with 7th grade math practice!”
Often it seems to us that children ask for help with the very things with which they already perfectly cope independently – to put on shoes, to pour water, to get something, and it causes irritation and annoyance. But it is important for a child to understand that you can be approached! And you should not immediately rush to do it for him, it is important to help him assess whether he can do it by himself, or really need your help: in this way you encourage him to become gradually more and more independent.
When your child asks, “Lie down with me.”
Bedtime can be one of the most enjoyable times of the day for child and parent alike: lying down together, talking, cuddling, reading a story, even if the child is already an excellent reader – these are all important family rituals. In addition, the evening before bedtime it is much easier to talk about important things, discuss difficult moments or be more sincere than at other times of the day. Even if a grown child no longer asks to be put to bed and babysat before bedtime, rest assured that he will be very happy to spend those few minutes just with you.
When he asks if he can do what you’re doing, too
Any adult activities attract children, the reason for this – a natural curiosity and interest in new things. Of course, it happens when you want to finish something quickly, and then participation of a child or “help” will only interfere. But the more often you hesitate or refuse, the less often he will be interested in your affairs or offer to help with them. But if you want to support the desire to help others, help them learn something new and try different activities – invite them to join in cooking, mending furniture, cleaning, preparing for trips and any other activities. Plus, all kids just want to be around their parents more often!
When it is important to say “No.”
A general rule – it is important to say no to children when it concerns safety, health or does not comply with family values, that is, how to behave with their loved ones. So, for example, it is definitely not allowed to break traffic rules, go somewhere alone or communicate with strangers, you cannot spend all your pocket money on sweets or cheat your grandmother, you cannot hit your little brother, even if you are very angry at him.